Normally, John posts on this blog, but today, I wanted a chance to share my thoughts about a tragedy.

I vividly remember the first time I met Trey Pennington.  My husband, John, and I were at Launch Greenville.  I was not at all thrilled over giving up one of our precious Saturdays to spend sitting in a seminar hearing people talk about launching business in Greenville.  John and I were perfect candidates for this gathering as we had recently started our new business with Homeland Secure IT.  We soaked in every word of the day although later we agreed that there was little to offer in the way of new material to our business plan.  I guess this at least gave us a “good job” pat on the back.  I will never forget and have thought of it often as we were talking to others during a break period, Trey coming up to us to chat.  Sensing  our struggles as new business owners, he wasted no time in connecting with us through family experiences.  He mentioned his regret of not having his wife by his side at such events, but understood given their six children.  Trey offered a boost of confidence in telling us how recent his business had taken a turn in a better direction since recently his family was at a church dinner and both he and his wife had only one dollar to their name.  Today was a different situation he indicated with a thankful heart.

I ran into Trey at a few more conferences in Greenville after that first meeting and connected with him over Twitter and Facebook in the two years to follow.  Every time I saw Trey, I always felt a sense of pain  in his tired, puffy eyes.  John and I always dismissed this as a tribute to having such a big family and always keeping up with their ongoing activities as well as a traveling business.  Then in June, around the 20th, we hear of Trey’s desire to end his life and news of ultimate divorce.  John and I both could relate.

One thing that I find extremely irritating as I read it over and over again in posts and blogs is how great Trey appeared… all skinny and healthy.  When did “Skinny” become the new “Healthy”?  I am certainly not in the medical field, but I can speak from experience.  Thin can be an outward cry for help…an attempt to gain control.  I have lived in the place of such dark despair that eating becomes a huge effort, and even swallowing past the huge lump in your throat almost causes a gag reflex.  I remember how the days continue on in one long sequence and it’s suddenly hard to remember the last meal you ate much less enjoyed.  This feeling feeds into the dark tomb of emptiness and exercise becomes the only therapeutic relief from the pain.  Then one day you begin to hear from others in passing, “Wow, look how much weight you’ve lost!  You look great!”  I began to wonder if I looked so bad before, why didn’t someone tell me?  THIS looks great?  Boy, if you only knew what I look like on the inside!  And the nightmare continues!  Someone once asked me, “What are you doing to lose so much weight and get into great shape?”  I was quick to bark back with, “You don’t want this diet plan it’s called DIVORCE!  You RUN to escape and NEVER EAT!”

I saw this look in Trey’s eyes. The cry for help in his photo posts at the Fall’s Park Bridge and Starbucks downtown. His lips pursed and unhappy, his eyes sagging with exhaustion.  But like many, I just didn’t feel close enough to reach out to him.  What is “close enough” to reach out to someone?  When is it okay to let your guard down and assume someone will respond in like?  I have NO idea what details Trey was faced with in his life anymore than the rest of you scouring social media to find answers to his decision not to continue on in this life.  I have to say that I too was tossed out of my church and I do believe that I must have felt something similar with an institution that once consumed most of my life.  This church faced me and said that they were tired of the drama my family’s problems were bringing and it needed to end.  They strongly suggested that I leave quietly even though I was not to blame (I was the victim).  I should leave “for a season” and allow things to cool down.  After all it was much easier for me to walk away than to ask my husband to leave since his entire family attended the church and offered a big financial support.  Really?  I left with my tail tucked.  I’m so amazed to hear of something like this happening to someone else.  I am very thankful that I discovered my faith in God is stronger than my faith in church.  We are all only human after all.

I have mixed emotions about the passing of Trey Pennington.  Anger that he has cheated his children of the beautiful moments that could have been.  Frustration that he gave up on life and the lives that he had yet to touch.  Pity that his dark demonic life was too dark for him to find any more light.  Sadness for his friends and family that will never have the chance again to make an uplifting contribution in the life of a great man.

Pamela Hoyt – Homeland Secure IT

@PamelaHoyt    -    http://www.facebook.com/PamelaMHoyt

As I sit here, wanting to type up something about computers, computer repair, some new gadget, a security issue or something inane as usual, I am unable to come up with a single thing more important than what occurred yesterday, and that is the death of a social media icon, a Greenville business enthusiast and dare I say, friend.

Trey Pennington, a man I met no more than maybe a dozen times in person, never shared a meal with or had a real conversation with outside of business, marketing or social media, took his own life, and there are countless blog, facebook and twitter posts about that unfortunate incident.

No, nothing I have to say is important at all, other than to say a thank you to Trey for all he did for us, and to apologize for not taking the time to get to know him on a personal level.

To his family, especially his children, God bless you all. He loved you dearly! He made that apparent with every appearance and conversation he had.  You will be in our prayers.

If you have been paying attention, you know about the Social Story Conference put on by Trey Pennington here in Greenville today at the Warehouse Theatre (@WarehouseGVL). Pamela and I played hooky from work and attended it, feeling a bit naughty, like a kid skipping school!

The speakers were Tim TV, Sean Buvala, Amber Osborne (@MissDestructo), Rick Murray, Olivier Blanchard (@TheBrandBuilder), Trey Pennington (@TreyPennington), and moderated by Phil Yanov (@ThinkHammer).

The topic was “Building your social story”, and while social media was discussed a good bit, it was not the focus of the conference.

It was a total blast! Let’s do it again!  If you missed it you can travel to the next venue!  www.SocialStoryConference.com for more information about it.

I would like to thank the speakers for traveling to see us, especially @MissDestructo who is responsible for getting me into Four Square and has brightened many days with some words of wisdom! Also, to the staff at Bit Tyrant (Aaron Von Frank, Susan Sebotnick and Kat Hardaway), you guys did a bang up job, and your volunteers were awesome too.

Here’s what I am looking forward to this month in Greenville:

Trey Pennington (@TreyPennington) has created the “Social Story Conference” which is going to be in Greenville, SC on September 24th. Trey, along with some other awesome people will be speaking on the subject of social media and social stories.  In short, how businesses can, and do, connect with people and form relationships, rather than force-feeding marketing down a one-way pipeline.

If you want to learn more about how to connect with your customer base, how to share in their lives, and how your products or services are part of their lives then you should consider going. If you are just wanting to continue to “broadcast” your information in the hopes that someone is going to listen, then avoid this conference by all means. Let’s face it, if you are constantly blathering on twitter about the $29.99 special your company offers without ever taking the time to follow your followers or listen to what they have to say, you are going to be unfollowed or filtered, just like the annoying car dealership commercials are muted by TV viewers.

The line up of speakers for Greenville is exciting! In addition to Trey Pennington, we’ll get to hear from and connect with Amber Osborne (@MissDestructo), Tim TV, Sean Buvala (@StoryTeller), Olivier Blanchard (@TheBrandBuilder), and Rick Murray… The emcee will be Phil Yanov (@ThinkHammer).

This is not about the social media platform, it is independent of the transport mechanism. It’s not about Twitter, or Facebook, it’s about connections.

More information is on the Social Story Conference website at http://socialstoryconference.com/ and you can also follow the hash tag of #SocialStory on Twitter.

Homeland Secure IT is proud to help sponsor this event and we can’t wait to see you there!